Derby County: It could only happen at Derby County

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A new book of Rams-related trivia has just been published, written by our regular correspondent Peter Seddon. Here the author shares a few of the entertaining facts which appear in The Little Book of Derby County.

EVERY football club in the world has its own unique history. And not a single one has found it plain sailing all the way. Troubled times and odd happenings have befallen Manchester United and Chelsea in equal measure to countless sides of rather lesser stature.

But can any football club really compete with Derby County when it comes to strange goings-on? Arguably not...which is why “It could only happen at Derby County” has become almost a catchphrase to generations of Rams fans who really have seen it all...and more besides.

Every club loses games, but Derby County are the only club to have “lost” a Spitfire, a Hurricane and a Lancaster bomber.

The three Second World War aircraft were scheduled to make a sensational and dramatic fly-past over Pride Park on the day of its opening, on July 18, 1997.

When a designated spotter confirmed over his mobile phone that the planes were “on their way now”, the Pride Park public address system (and it was working) burst forth with the famous Dambusters’ March and the announcer bade the excited capacity crowd to “look skyward for a big surprise”.

Everybody did but the big surprise was that nothing happened! The spotter had become flustered and was mistaken. In truth, the iconic aircraft were grounded in Lincolnshire by fog and a fax cancelling the appearance had failed to reach Rams officials at “high-tech” Pride Park because the machine had been left behind at the Baseball Ground.

Who said “it could only happen at Derby County”? Nearly everybody! Fortunately, Her Majesty the Queen, who for the first time ever had graciously agreed to open a football ground (another quirky record for the Rams) managed to negotiate Derby’s celebrated road works and a memorable time was had by all.

Many of the same fans who were at the opening of Pride Park were also there in August just a few weeks later for the first League game at the magnificent new arena.

So many checks and dummy runs had been made that even the Rams hierarchy were unworried by the date – the 13th! Nothing could go wrong...or could it?

As it happened, the result of the evening kick-off between Derby and Wimbledon never did appear in the Premiership record books because the game was abandoned when the floodlights (state-of-the-art) went out early in the second half.

One newspaper headline the next day said it all, “Pride Dark”, and, once more, the faithful were heard to utter the familiar mantra...let’s just save time and shorten it to “ICOHADC”.

It’s not only aircraft that Derby County can number in their lost property office either. They are also the only club to misplace both their penalty spots.

Few who were present at the Baseball Ground to see Derby play Manchester City on April 30, 1977, will forget the disappearance of the Normanton End spot in the dusty mud-baked surface of the pitch as Rams midfielder Gerry Daly prepared to take a penalty against City keeper Joe Corrigan.

To the rescue came groundsman Bob Smith, complete with a bucket of whitewash, brush, and tape measure. The scene of high farce was later that day played out to millions of viewers on Match of the Day complete with incredulous commentary by John Motson.

For Derby County, though, it was fairly routine and merely completed the set, since the Osmaston End penalty spot had already been lost two years earlier when a group of over-zealous souvenir hunters had entered the Baseball Ground armed with a spade, at dead of night, and stolen it!

Perhaps it’s just as well players can’t be lost although, in a way, they can. Lots of footballers have failed to get on with the club coach, but on September 10, 1983, the Rams leading scorer, Bobby Davison, slightly varied the theme by failing to get on the club coach as it left Derby for a game at Blackburn Rovers.

Sleepy-eyed “Davo” had overslept, and the Rams too were caught napping – Rovers thrashed them 5-1, all the Blackburn goals coming from Simon Garner.

And talking of star strikers, how could the Rams ever live down the embarrassing saga of Ian Storey-Moore?

Prior to kick-off at their home game with Wolves on March 4, 1972, the stylish Nottingham Forest winger was paraded around the Baseball Ground pitch as “our new signing”.

Rams fans relished pinching a star off their Forest rivals but, unfortunately, the Derby board had jumped the gun and the paperwork remained incomplete.

A miffed Forest promptly backed out of the deal and the player went instead to Manchester United.

Fans can debate forever on who is the best signing ever to play for Derby County, but the best signing never to play for Derby County was certainly Ian Storey-Moore.

Another forward who definitely did play for the Rams, but really shouldn’t have done, was Esteban Fuertes.

Manager Jim Smith went to great trouble to land the Argentine striker in August 1999 but quickly wished he hadn’t bothered.

In November 1999, as the Rams returned from a break in Portugal, Fuertes was refused re-entry at Heathrow Airport because his EU Italian passport was exposed as a forgery.

He was barred from playing in the UK and returned to Argentina labelled “the most unwise signing in Derby County’s history”.

But at least Fuertes did play a few games, which is more than can be said for two earlier overseas signings.

In January 1989 the Rams chairman Robert Maxwell (pause for chorus of booing?) “landed” two Czech internationals, Ivo Knoflikec and Lubos Kubik.

Both players settled well and became popular figures, but neither played a single competitive game.

Football’s governing body, FIFA, refused to sanction the move, so back they went.

Even worse than Ian Storey-Moore perhaps – they were the most celebrated double signings never to play for the Rams.

Let’s not imagine, though, that such disasters have only occurred within living memory. In 1890, Derby County happily signed the official worst goalkeeper in the world.

He was the Hyde player Charlie Bunyan, who had been between the sticks when the Lancashire side played Preston North End in an FA Cup tie in 1887.

Preston won 26-0 and, even today, Charlie Bunyan still holds the record as the goalkeeper beaten the most times in an English senior competitive match.

Naturally, he didn’t last long at Derby. They let him go to Chesterfield after just nine games and, in turn, the “Spireites” quickly offloaded him to Sheffield United, who even more swiftly let him go without even a single game.

And guess which club signed him then? That’s right, the Rams again. Who but Derby County could sign the world’s worst goalie twice?

It brings to mind another phrase well-used in that strange territory known as Ramsland: “It beggars belief...it really does.”

And so the saga (which every true Derby County fan loves, of course) goes on.

Which club were saved from bankruptcy in a gents toilet? Who are the only football team to walk across the Forth Railway Bridge?

Which club had a game called off because of icy pavements? Who had a match abandoned due to wind?

Who signed a player for a box of cigars? Which club did Bert Mann, better known as the President of the Derby and District Master Butchers’ Association, play for? The answer to all of them is, of course, Derby County.

Space allocation restricts me here to a mere two pages of Rams-related madness. Fortunately, The Little Book of Derby County has 250 pages. The obvious question is: “Was there enough material to fill it?”

And the quick answer is: “Yes, at least 10 times over.”

And that couldn’t be said for any club, in fact, “it could only happen at Derby County”.

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